Forced change fucks you up... Right?
Updated: Jul 17, 2020
In the last 4 months we have had change forced upon us, completely out of our control. Read on for inspiration and to see how I used a forced change to unfuck myself!
The world has become a very strange place. The world of coaching stranger; it is highly competitive and as part of my marketing strategy I took some time to see what other coaches are doing to market themselves during these unprecedented times (annoying phrase) and its certainly been an interesting exercise, As with all sectors there are huge differences in what is coming from individual businesses. From give everything for free, to increasing prices massively. From a total business pivot to making no changes and either banging on about it constantly to no acknowledgement that anything has changed in the world. One strategy that has become quite the fashion in the coaching sector is the ‘show your own vulnerability method’. I had started to think that the only way that I was going to stand out to my target audience at this time as a coach was to go further than others; having a ‘meltdown’ live on social media was beginning to feel like the only option!! This is something that I don’t need to do and certainly something I wouldn’t want to do. When a big change happens to us we are all challenged by what to do, and coaches are no exception.
You see we are all going through a huge change right now, and it’s a forced change - It is our Loss of Control plus a Lack of Understanding multiplied by the number of people in the world which equals a fucking nightmare. The collective trauma experienced on a global level is something that the majority of the population have NEVER experienced, we have no frame of reference for this. And that is what freaks us out!! With any big change it doesn’t matter whether it is a good change or a bad change because the only thing that alters is the language – a bad change is terrifying and a good change is overwhelming.
I experienced a big change of my own at the end of 2019 when I took the huge decision to leave a business I had started in 2012 (and I made the final decision very fast) and whilst not a forced change it certainly felt like it at that moment. Over the course of a morning I had gone from having a business, a business partner, an income, a car along with my phone, Ipad and Laptop to nothing. I experienced Loss of Control plus Lack of Understanding multiplied by one human which equalled a phone call that no one wants to make, the one you may have never made (I hadn’t). Dialing a number, reaching out, listening and waiting for the phone to be answered so I can utter those four little words “I am not OK”.
When your whole axis shifts suddenly it is terrifying, all your ‘normal things’ have gone. All your ‘go to’s’ have disappeared. People you would normally work through issues with are not there anymore and for me everything felt on fast forward. Looking back on those initial first days I am reminded of when the fair came to town (it still does come to town and teenagers still get giddy excited about it) and in the early 90’s its was totally acceptable to spin the waltzer faster and faster and if you shouted stop? It went faster still. Shouting stop didn’t work in 1990 at Danters Fair and didn’t work in 2019 either!
The only thing I did know that I hung on to is that I had to do things differently, which meant I had to change differently (which then became scary as fuck in itself), adapt differently and work through things differently or I would remain the same!!! I would learn nothing from this experience… and that would be appalling. I really had no idea at the time, in the moment what to do so I chose to feel my way (no process, no system, no map). With the incredible support of friends, clients and my own coach I felt my way;
🧡 I stopped meditating (and felt no guilt for it)
💚 I cleaned a lot; wherever I went (no thought required and a tangible result)
🧡 I continued grounding (and sitting on the floor, stops the spin)
💚 I started active mindfulness (the best thing ever to slow yourself down)
🧡 I learned to knit
💚 I did not drive (public transport can be fun)
🧡 I gardened
I think that the biggest surprise on this list will be the first one, I have been meditating for years and I am a meditation teacher too, so why stop you ask? Because I just couldn’t ‘go there’, I couldn’t enable all the things that make meditation great for me – the letting go, the conversing with my guides and the releasing of control – I needed to stay in the present. Oh and no I am not available for cleaning services but if I am ever stressed it is my go to thing.
Once the planet and my world started to slow back down I was able start to build; build myself, build a new business and develop my way. With the unwavering support and tough love of my coach and my friends for which I will be forever grateful. As a coach I spend a lot of time holding the energy of others and to have mine held when I needed it was a privilege and as I look back at that time now it has taught me just how much I do with others.
As I write this 6 months on I truly believe that it happened exactly when it needed to for all parties for a reason. A very important reason. It is my life purpose to help serve and support others and to do that effectively I need to be in a good place. By going through what I did when I did it means I have come out the other side, I am not in an emotional panic over Covid-19 and all the impacts as I have weathered a storm, and weathered it well. This means that I am supporting my clients during this time whatever their storm. That’s the greatest thing about going through a big change so recently (thank you universe). And wow are they weathering their storm. My clients are working, they are making money, they are adapting they are growing and they are learning which is a pleasure to be part of and it truly is a privilege to work with such epic humans.
Now we face change again as England loosens lock-down measures and there has never been a better time to be the difference that makes the difference in your life, in your business, and in the universe. To some degree or another, the tornado of change brought by Covid-19 has touched all of our lives and the new change of leaving lock-down means it will continue to do so for some time. It might be your garden needs landscaping (you may need business rebrand), or it could be your business has to totally change to accommodate a new world you have the opportunity to rebuild, stronger, better and just how you want it… know that I'm here if you need someone to tell you it's ok, hold your hand or kick your backside. So, if what I have said resonates and you want to see what the difference that makes the difference for you is then get in touch and lets get talking.
I am incredibly proud of what I am creating with REAL. I know what I show others works because I have experienced it and I really have Recharged Energised Aligned… and bloody heck have I Learned.
If you are feeling what I have felt, if you want to find out more then get in touch to book 30 minutes of time (totally without charge) with me so we can find out if we are right for each other.